We’ve been reading the fantastic book Zen Ties by John J. Muth a lot recently.  Since it’s fall, it’s a happy coincidence that this book features apples.  I decided to have a little apple tea party with Monkey by having her help me make an apple galette, and serving apple tea.  We shared a wonderful afternoon, first admiring and selecting apples in the store and then preparing this freeform pie.  We purchased the tea, which was too spicy for us.  The pie turned out beautifully.  Here’s the recipe:

Apple Pie

Crust Ingredients:

• 1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup shortening
• 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup very cold water (+ more if needed)

Apple Filling Ingredients

• 2 mediums-sized baking apples such as Granny Smith, peeled, cored and sliced very thin
• 2 tablespoons light brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 6 teaspoons apricot preserves
• Vegetable oil spray

Instructions

1. Combine the flours, sugar and salt with a whisk in a large mixing bowl.  Add in the shortening in small chunks, cutting them into the flour mixture with each addition until the dough reaches a crumbly stage.
2. Mix the vinegar with the cold water together and then, using a fork, add it to the flour mixture in a couple of batches.  If needed add up more cold water until the dough holds sticks together uniformly.
3. Knead the dough on a floured surface a couple of times, then shape it into a ball and flatten into a disc as if making pizza dough.  Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
4. Preheat the oven to 425.
5. Mix together the brown sugar and cinnamon.
6. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
7. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface.  You may roll out the dough into one large galette.  The dough should be not be any thicker than 1/4″.
8. Place the dough on the baking sheet, and spread the apricot preserves on the crust.  Then arrange the apple slices in overlapping circles, working from the outside in, leaving a 3/4″ border around the edge.  Sprinkle the apples with the sugar and cinnamon mixture.
9. Fold the extra dough around the edges up and around the apples, overlapping the dough to create a rustic event.
10. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes until the edges of the crust are golden.

Make sure you let the galette cool down before eating.  Serve with your choice of ice cream.

Part of the whole “dial down the picky eater-ness” philosophy is to connect kids with where their food is made.  On a road trip this summer, we were delighted to spend some time at the Rogue Creamery in Central Point, OR.  It’s not a huge shop – but it has all the essentials.  There is a large glass window into the cheese-making area, a sampling area along with some cheese paraphernalia, and a couple of deli counters with bricks and logs and wheels of some very divine cheese.

Monkey especially liked sampling.  To her credit, for a 2 year old, she did watch the video about the cheese-making process and seemed to get that it would be an excruciating wait before the milk that was being hauled in at that moment would be available in a cheese form.  She was also mildly disappointed that there wasn’t any goat cheese – her favorite.  Nevertheless, the kind people behind the counter gave her tastes of some exceptional cheeses like the Rogue River Blue and the Oregonzola (how many toddlers like blue cheeses?).  I think they converted her by the time we left.

P.S.  If you go, there is a chocolate store next door called Lillie Belle Farms that serves up heaven in little chocolate squares.  Save time to visit both places.

Okay, talk about eating your words.  With all of the confidence in the world, I prepared a very delicious-sounding soba noodle and spinach recipe from the NYT columnist Mark Bittman last night for dinner.  I talked it up big time, too.  My daughter was so excited to try the noodles with all of the good things she likes - edamame, spinach, lime juice, soy sauce – what was there not to like?  Apparently, everything.  Noodles didn’t exactly come flying back into my face, but I think they might have if it hadn’t meant a time out.  I’m not sure that this qualifies her as a picky eater but it sure doesn’t make things a heck of a lot easier.  So, in hopes of redeeming dinner, I made a quick little miso soup — ha, ha.  Remember me?  The LAZY mom-chef.  She asked for, and I gave her, a few slices of prosciutto, some goat cheese, cucumber slices and baby tomatoes along with milk.

But, for you diehards, here is the miso soup recipe I should have made last night (one that Monkey loves):

Ingredients

• 3 cups dashi soup stock, prepared according to directions
• 1 block tofu cut into 1/4″ cubes
• 4 tbsps high quality miso
• 1/4 cup chopped green onion
• 2 tbsps seaweed leaves

Preparation

Prepare and measure ingredients first.  Put dashi stock in a large  pan and bring to a boil, and then turn down to a simmer.  Add miso to stock, and dissolve.  Add in tofu cubes and seaweed leaves.  Heat for 2-3 minutes and then serve into bowls.  Garnish with the chopped green onion.

*Makes 4 servings

As I’ve already confided, I believe in keeping things simple.  There’s no way that I would skimp on the chance to engage my toddler in something fun that involves food!  We invested in a paella pan and got busy making this delicious and relatively simple Spanish dish.  The best part of Paella is that there is usually something for everyone in the dish – rice, seafood, sausage, chicken.  Although I’ve recently turned vegan, I did spend some formative years in Lousiana, where I grew to appreciate jambalaya, a paella cousin.  Thus, I enlisted my foodie husband to make the dish – a pleasure for him – and then we called over some friends, who brought the Spanish wine to accompany our meal.  The kids thoroughly enjoyed picking through the dish and eating their favorite parts with their fingers.  It was also reassuring to see the toddlers try something with different spices.  We just set it out in front of them without any kind of hoopla, and they were willing.

Want to cook for a picky toddler?  (Now, I know you shouldn’t actually use the word “picky” in front of your little one – but feel safe to vent, I meant write, it on this site.)  As with everything that I try, I learn that it all comes down to the basics, right down to the equipment.  Cooking well requires, at a minimum, some decent pots, pans and knives.  Pictured are two recent acquisitions, which have made turning on the stove a breeze.  These are both by All-Clad – one is a Stainless Steel 12-inch Fry Pan and the other is a Stainless Steel 4-Quart Saute Pan.  Don’t ask me what makes the pans work so well.  All I know is that the heat seems to distribute evenly throughout the pan, everything slides right out and they are a snap to clean.

Here’s a quick tomato sauce to make in your saute pan. Try it and I think you’ll agree that having the right pans makes this already simple recipe practically effortless.

Quick Tomato Sauce

• Approximately 3 pounds of heirloom tomatoes, roughly chopped
• Around 1/4 cup of chopped herbs such as basil, oregano or marjoram
• Salt and Pepper to taste
• Olive oil to taste

Place tomatoes in saute pan over medium heat along with herbs.  Cover pan, but stir periodically.  Allow tomatoes and herbs to cook for about 10 minutes until they have softened.  Run the mixture through a food mill to get rid of the skins and seeds.  Place sauce back in saute pan along with salt, pepper and olive oil to taste (try out a couple of tablespoons) and then simmer until the sauce reaches your desired thickness.  Sauce may be kept in the fridge for about a week, or frozen for several months.

Here is something interesting that I read recently.  The gist of this new research, as reported by Don Sapatkin for the Philadelphia Inquirer, is that:

1. Your children will choose smaller portion sizes if you allow them to do it for themselves.
2. If you use tall, narrow glasses instead of short, wide ones, your kids will think that they are getting more (and so will you).
3. Portion size and control is one of the largest contributing factors to overeating.
4. A smaller number of larger pieces (rather than a larger number of smaller pieces) may contribute to eating less; this is in contrast to adults who tend to judge portions based on the quantity of items rather than the size of each item.

Of course, thinking about picky eaters, there is some discussion about the role that breast feeding plays with the development of food preferences and eating practices.  Some researchers believe that breast feeding, as opposed to bottle feeding, introduces a variety of flavors from the mother’s diet and consequently affects how much is eaten, since babies play an active role in getting the milk.

Though I loathe to admit it, I’m finally ready to confess that I must be the laziest mom out there when it comes to preparing meals.  I’m red-faced, but there you have it.  If I had my druthers, I’d be spending my time reading or playing with my daughter.  Not cooking for us!  I married a foodie – shouldn’t he be the one busy in the kitchen?  But there I am, about 4 or 5 nights a week, in the kitchen cooking up a meal.  I don’t like touching meat, my knife skills are pretty weak, and my palette is pretty mainstream (curry – how exciting!).

Luckily, my tastes line up pretty well with my daughter’s interests at this age.  We both like things quick and simple.  The main difference is that most of my meals are vegan, but she is an omnivore cook’s delight.  So we compromise….  I’ll usually make a meal and then add in a little meat on her plate.  Meat for her includes prosciutto (her fave!), sausage, chicken – things I can cook up in batches and chop up easily.  Here’s our list of surefire winners that do not usually require a recipe:

• Pizza
• Polenta
• Rice and beans
• Pasta (Cheese, Marinara or Pesto)
• Cheese Sandwiches
• Hummus Wraps
• Burrito
• Cous Cous

Everything is always served with fresh raw veggies on the side, usually tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and occasionally celery.  Fruit for dessert.  I do not buy any pre-made sauces or dips, I just usually find a night of the week and then make up double or triple batches of everything and then freeze them.  For instance, we’ve got basil pesto as well as tomato sauce in the freezer.  I just take out a small amount, thaw it in the microwave and then stir it in with the freshly cooked pasta.

Those of you feeling sad for Monkey right now, never fear.  Her dad feeds her extremely well on the nights he cooks – very exotic and gourmet meals that include duck confit, truffle oil and all kinds of pork rubs.

Another theory (I’m starting to feel like an economist here): Monkey is a relatively good eater because of all the time we spend in gardens and the gardening we do with her.  Pictured above is only part of the garden at Wild Flour, a bakery in Freestone, CA.  At least one of us works in our teeny garden almost everyday, which reinforces the “garden – table connection.”  She sees us, and we encourage her to help out.  We also take Monkey to the Burbank Gardens in Santa Rosa, CA and to our neighbors’ gardens – just about anywhere plants or veggies are growing.  I don’t want her to grow up being grossed out by “green stuff” like I was.  Today, someone thoughtfully left a big ‘ole box of fresh and ripe tomatoes at the entrance to her preschool.  She picked out a big one and a small one and then proceeded to eat them both on the drive home.

Second theory: the snacks are too tiny at preschool and she’s just SO hungry that she would eat anything in front of her.

There’s nothing better than a quick list of what your kid WILL eat posted on your fridge.  At one of our friend’s house, they use this list to keep track of what their daughter likes for dinner.  In a hurry?  Refer to the list.  Babysitter coming over?  Refer to the list.  Child melting down about dinner?  Refer to the list.  There’s no reason not to have multiple lists: snacks, breakfast, soups, smoothies and so on.  It’s also a handy way to focus on healthy meals.

Don’t miss the Frank Bruni article entitled “Parenting and Food – Eat Your Peas.  Or Don’t.  Whatever” from this weekend’s NYT.  He covers how worrying too much about what a kid (especially young adults and teens) can actually be counter-productive.  I love the comments section most of all.  So many people and their concerns – everything is covered.  In the end, it seems common sense needs to prevail.  Teach healthy eating early on, and then later on, your children will make healthy choices.

After a few months of paying attention to Monkey’s eating habits, it’s time to summarize what I’ve learned so far:

1. Raw food is best
2. Foods preferably not mixed (e.g. no meatloaf or anything where she can’t tell what is inside the food)
3. Fresh is best
4. Picking it yourself is even better
5. Sparkling water rules!
6. Keep choices limited
7. Keep size portions small
8. Helping to prepare a meal aids in willingness to try a new food

Further to these key points, Monkey has some other important rules.  If food is to be cooked, it still must be simple and easily deconstructed.  Unfilled pasta is better than filled pasta, croutons are better than untoasted bread, crunchy is good and all things cheesy are wonderful.  Getting to pat down the pizza dough can’t be beat, but eating the pizza is not as important.  Cured meats, if meat is to be eaten, are acceptable.  Give Monkey the bag – the whole bag – please do not dole out specific portions.

No sitting in chairs at the table FOREVER – Monkey would like to get up and paint or ride a bike or go into the kitchen for something.  In fact, the ideal setting for eating is outside.  If we are eating outside with friends, however, Monkey would prefer not to share her grapes.  Smoothies sound good, and so do cupcakes, and bean dip (thanks to E’s mom for suggesting) - but monkeys don’t really like to eat them all that often.  Making all of these dishes is great: measuring out flour and fruit, sampling all the way, using the blender or the food processor, just generally being of help in the kitchen is alright.

And always, always, always provide cow’s milk at every meal (much to Monkey’s mother’s horror).  And fruit at every meal.  And fruit for snacks.

Coming Up

In addition to investigating the suggestions from the Woman’s Day article on how to get kids to eat better (see August 20th post), here’s what else is planned at The Toddler Who Ate Everything:

• A page devoted to great books and music about food for kids
• A page devoted to great cookbooks for kids
• A page devoted to other recommended sites about cooking for kids
• A serious page about what I’ve learned about feeding monkeys
• Polls
• Contests
• Regular postings / reviews from cookbooks for kids – starting with the Mollie Katzen classic Pretend Soup or some kind of comparison / competition of cookbooks for kids (Please let me know your suggestions!)
• And, eventually, a monthly newsletter

For those of you keeping tabs, last Thursday I pondered how many exposures to a new food it would take before my Monkey would eat it.  The answer for polenta is one – uno – un – ein – 1.  Incredible!  Believe me, I did not expect that she would take to this food at all.

Here’s the scene: all of us seated at the table, and on the table is our typical family style fare of dishes.  On Monkey’s plate are a few cut up raw veggies – carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes.  We have some grilled sausages on one plate, some polenta in a glass baking pan, and some tomato compote (which was supposed to be a sauce but c’est la vie).  Her dad cuts a spoonful of stiff polenta and places it on Monk’s plate with a simple request to try it.  She starts to cry, whine and wipe it off of her plate and then tries to hand it to me.  I take a bite and say “yum, thank you.”  I then give her a fraction of the previous piece and ask her once again to try it.  I also explain that is basically ground up corn.

Dramatic pause.

She tries it.

She immediately asks for more.

We have leftovers the next day and she still likes it.

We even have leftovers for our meal on Sunday and she eats it again.

Now, you may be thinking, big deal – she already likes corn.  I disagree – this is a new texture, a new look, and it really doesn’t taste like corn to me.  I’m definitely encouraged by this event.  Don’t get me wrong, she still wanted an apple (a big one – whole) or some prosciutto for the rest of her meal but there is progress here.

Just a few photos from a recent birthday party celebrating the summer birthdays of the three boys in the last photo.  The great part of this party, in addition to the very nice park (near a bathroom!), was that it was a bunch of kids and parents eating and playing.

I watched Monk try foods that I had seen her previously shy away from – I suspect because the other kids were eating them.  Other moms have also made this discovery.  We have a bunch of social eaters!  Perhaps this goes back to that evolutionary theory about kids shying away from food at this age (see posts from August 7th and August 5th), but once they see others trying and enjoying food, they’ll be a little bit more adventurous.  Of course, it doesn’t hurt when the new foods are things like cheese puffs and the appetite has been whetted by cupcakes.

I have some good friends who swear by the sneaky chef / deceptively delicious books.  We tried it and it didn’t work at our house.  Here’s why, I think:

a.     Some children don’t like surprises (and neither do some adults!)

b.     How will they learn to like / or appreciate a food, if it is hidden?

c.     A lot of kids, including Monkey, don’t like mixed flavors

As if to confirm that we’re on the right track for Monkey, today at lunch she snubbed the mini carrots from the bag today at lunch, but then heartily snacked on a fresh from the garden “BIG Carrot” for dinner (our only carrot from the garden this season, by the way.)

In case you missed it, in today’s NYT there is a Q&A with the author of a new book called Hungry Monkey about kids and food.  I love this guy’s attitude!  We don’t do sneaky foods, either.  It works for some parents I know, but all in all, I’d rather just keep trying to acclimate Monk (my Monk!) to real food and how real people eat.  The author’s daughter is older – 8 yo – so he’s not fumbling through this finicky / picky eater stage any more – he has lived to tell the tale.  You can be sure that I’ll be reading the book and posting my thoughts.

My friend in Oregon has two kids – a 6 yo girl and a 3.5 yo boy.  She’s been through it.  I asked her how she dealt with the frustration of the “terrible twos” since I’ve find myself to not quite be myself at the end of the day.  Here are her very helpful thoughts:

For the kid(s):

1. Distract, distract, distract.  Instead of harping why s/he can’t do something, she says her MIL always says, “I’ve got something to show you in the car.”  And it might be a speck of dust but the kids never catch on!  Amazing.
2. Praise the behavior you want.  I’m not so good at this yet, but remember to catch your child doing something well and praise that behavior.  Monk has been having some sleeping difficulties and I’m finding that the thing that works best is praising like mad when she stays in bed for nap or quiet time.
3. Offer alternatives.  Instead of asking where Monk wants to go, its better for both of us if I simply give her two options.  ”Do you want to walk to your room, or do you want mommy to carry you?”
4. Use “when … then” statements.  Most toddlers live in the moment – a trait I really admire – but its hard for them to understand that our appointment starts in 15 minutes and we should have left half an hour ago.  To speed up the process, my friend recommended, “When you get in the car, then you can have a sticker [your teddy bear, your book, etc.]“

Quite honestly, there was one more I think but I’ve found these 4 to be the most helpful so far.  My sweet little two year old is returning.

For the parent(s):

• Try controlling your wake up time so you get he peace you need.  My friend sets her clock a half hour before her kids usually wake up so she can have a cup of tea and enjoy some time to herself.
• Meditation really works.  Grab 10 minutes to yourself at some point in the day and clear your mind. 10 minutes is all it takes!
• Keep trying, remember its a phase, and don’t be afraid to laugh about it!

My little 5 year-old niece polished off a bucket of clams the other day while on vacation in Seattle. Her parents and sister combined ate about 5 clams out of the bucket, but my adorable, beanpole-thin niece claimed the rest for her own. And why not?

Meanwhile, many of my friends and I wonder whether our toddlers are eating too much, or not enough, or whether they are eating the right foods. My daughter is often considered a “good eater” by other moms, but I find that amusing since we have our own struggles. She eats, alright …. her own weight in fruit everyday it seems. And maybe that’s okay. My pediatrician doesn’t seem worried, but then I’m the mom and I need something to worry about.

It occurred to me that the toddler age group is often overlooked when it comes to dietary pyramids and teaching kids about food. A great deal is written about quick meals, sneaky foods, and picky eaters. But I’d like to devote this site to the opposite philosophy of children and food. How as parents and caregivers can we try to encourge toddlers to explore new foods, to participate in the growing of food and the preparation of meals, and finally in the enjoyment of dining with family and friends? “The Toddler Who Ate Everything” is a forum for exchanging ideas about what makes a “good eater”, resetting expectations about children and eating in today’s hectic world, and sharing recipes and tips for lovingly dining with our young loved ones.

Welcome!
-Crystal and Jen